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Book Tour ‘09 begins after a week in Kentucky, where I conduct top secret activities. The thing about Louisville I noticed, last year, is they have lots of pictures of horses but few actual horses downtown. Maybe I’m not looking in the right places. They also have fancy hotels, a room in which I have the distinct pleasure of sharing with another grad student. Once there I’ll try to hit the Frazier International History Museum and maybe even swing by Thomas Edison’s house.

On to book tour notes. Most of the dates are posted on the website. As the first leg nears, a TV spot, I find myself returning to an Ann Patchett essay in The Atlantic’s fiction issue from last year. She recounts a conversation in which Allan Gurganus says “The only thing worse than going on book tour…is not going on book tour.”

Yet her own publicity run for her first novel, The Patron Saint of Liars, began like a soldier’s tour of duty: she covered 25 cities and “kept my expenses under $3,000.” Armed with one good dress she “would drive to Chicago, find the McDonald’s closest to the bookstore, change clothes in the bathroom…and present myself [once inside the bookstore] to the person behind the counter” as “the seven o’clock show.” Each sparsely-attended night of the book tour ended in despair and embarrassment despite a solid performance or at least an hour of friendly conversation. Maybe the most poignant anecdote involves the story of a woman Patchett meets – who abandoned her favorite author after hearing said author read aloud. Why? Because the woman couldn’t stand this author’s voice. Just goes to show that authors can never predict what effect they can have. Maybe I ought to practice my Truman Capote impression.

But the essay ends on a positive note. An equally poignant anecdote describes a meeting between Patchett and a girl whose mom drove her several hours on a school night to hear Patchett read. Heart warming, or something. Anyway, on this last day of actual “rest” before a hectic summer gets underway, I look forward to surprise and yet knock on wood for no car trouble.