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Barack Obama committed insecticide the other day, slapping a big housefly dead on CNBC. “I got the sucker,” he said and pointed to the camera. “You want to film that?” And so the camera man (I mean…camera person) zoomed in on the dead bugger, which lay on its back.

PETA was a bit upset, and so they sent a letter to the Prez and some kind of humane fly catcher. Not even Titus Andronicus, who cut off his own hand and fed his mortal enemy’s two sons to her in a pie, would do such a thing as kill a harmless fly. So I quote from Shakespeare:

But how, Barack, if that fly had a father and mother?
How would he hang his slender gilded wings,
And buzz lamenting doings in the air!
Poor harmless fly,
That, with his pretty buzzing melody,
Came here to make us merry!
and thou hast kill’d him.

Barack, perhaps you will say, “Pardon me, sir; it was a black ill-favor’d fly, Like to the empress’ Moor; therefore I kill’d him.”

To which I would say, O, O, O,
Then pardon me for reprehending thee,
For thou hast done a charitable deed.
Give me thy knife, I will insult on him;
Flattering myself, as if it were the Moor
Come hither purposely to poison me.–
There’s for thyself, and that’s for Tamora.
Ah, sirrah!
Yet, I think, we are not brought so low,
But that between us we can kill a fly

And now you can watch the dubbed version