Sanford and Cheney and Bears

by Administrator on Jun.24, 2009, under Uncategorized

Mark Sanford on the winding trails of the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains, just after sunrise

I’m glad to hear Sanford’s back home, safe and sound, from his trip. This ordeal has got me thinking of all the great jokes South Carolinians can expect in coming months. First: California’s governor says “I’ll be back;” Carolina’s govy leaves you wondering. Second: Fall off the radar for a few days and your friends will say, “We thought you’d pulled a Sanford. Ha, ha!” The Simpsons will manage a Sanford slap. Colbert, being from South Carolina himself, is bound to weigh in.

To readers who’ve never lived in South Carolina: Really, this isn’t as nuts as it sounds. We’re used to absurdity. We watched Sanford drag a bunch of hogs into the state house. Remember? We’ve also dealt with the likes of Maurice Bessinger, and let’s not forget where Bob Jones University is. When Lisa Simpson wails, “I don’t want to be a gamecock,” we took that one to the chest. America, why do you always laugh at us? Besides, governors get paid to do weird stuff. Read the fine print of their contracts. Our politicians, I believe, were still dueling each other well into the nineteenth century.

Sanford soaks up sun and sand on the exotic beaches of Bermuda

And now for the lit news we’ve been waiting for. Simon & Schuster announces that Dick Cheney will publish a memoir. I haven’t heard the title yet, but I’ve got several suggestions – all of which involve his first name. By the way, Cheney’s not the only Bush boy to have a book deal in the works. From my fav newspaper, The NY Times:

Mr. Cheney, who had been looking for a publisher for about two months, joins a roster of Bush administration figures writing memoirs, including President George W. Bush; his wife, Laura; former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice; former Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr.; former Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld; and Karl Rove, the former presidential political adviser.

That’s right. Collect them all! Man on man, does that sound like a lot of dry prose. Think I’ll wait for these to hit audio. Of course, we don’t read them for their style or narrative arc. We’re on the lookout for truthiness.

Since I blog about books, I know you’re all waiting for the Where’s Waldo? Give you a rain check.