brianrayfiction.com Blog

No sooner do I leave than Columbia begs me back. A tentative date for a return to B&N is set for mid August. I’ll keep everyone posted. Meanwhile, I have a personal message for James Frey, who’s rumored to be shopping around a young adult sci-fi novel:

I’m willing to give you a chance, Frey, despite the bad rep surrounding A Million Little Pieces. But let me warn you on behalf of all readers the world over. No tricks this time. This is a novel, right? So forget the 15 percent fact/fiction ratio. I’d better not find one shred of reality in this forthcoming title. I mean it. Seriously. One single sentence remotely based on your own life, anyone else’s, or the real world in general, and I’m hunting you down personally for a refund.

To specify: I want no Earth-based life forms or anything conforming to the laws of science as we know them. Write new laws of science, and they’d better be consistent. Gravity shmavity. Everything must be completely made up from scratch. And you don’t get away with giving people bumpy foreheads or pointy ears and calling them an “extra-terrestrial species.”

Michael Bay has purportedly been picked to direct a film or three based on this book, the first of a planned series. I can see that gorilla tanking now. Imagine the last Star Trek movie, except James T. Kirk gets way drunker a lot more often and crashes the starship Enterprise into Vulcan, and that’s how the planet dies. A transformer goes back in time to save the planet but gets distracted by Megan Fox. “Red matter” no longer causes black holes but can be injected into the veins for an immense high.