brianrayfiction.com Blog

Seems like only yesterday I was walking around USC’s campus with coffee, making mental plans to revise and send off my mss on the assumption it didn’t win the first first-novel prize. Now, alas, some other poor joe or jane can have that pleasure. The SC Arts Commission has just announced the second first-novel prize:

Bret Lott, the author of 12 books, most recently “Ancient Highway” (Random House, 2008), is the contest judge. Lott is a former editor of the “Southern Review” and teaches creative writing at the College of Charleston.

That’s right. Another big-time author whose opinion you can trust. You don’t have to worry about Danielle Steele or Thomas Pynchon judging the award (two polar ends of the spectrum). As for a testimonial, consider going to my website and looking at the reviews – if you don’t believe the $25 entry fee is worth it. Buy a copy of my novel, or just go to B&N and hold one of those hardbacks in your hands for a few minutes, and ask how you’d like that to be you. Now some advice on submitting to a first-novel prize if you’ve never considered doing so before. The deadline is Jan 5, 2010.

1. Money helps. Slipping a $20 or even a $50 into a blue envelop is the way to go. The first round of readers are usually overworked editors or college/grad students like myself. A little bone here and there cheers us up.

2. Wine helps more. Especially a vintage. Odds are, we’ll just spend the $20 you give us on booze anyway – being literary types. You might as well save us a drive to the grocery store. Trust me. Envelops big enough for wine exist. But if you’re a cheapskate, most stores are selling those little mini-bottles now.

3. Cigarettes not so much. Do you want to stink up your manuscript, or give one of us cancer? Also, cigarettes are prison currency. Consider the implication that sends. Same goes with cigars. And even if the reader happens to smoke, shipping will likely grind them into tobacco dust.

4. Illustrated stationary a plus. When I worked for Yemassee, we always smiled upon seeing monkeys or unicorns on every page. Really, even if the stationary makes the words difficult to distinguish, go for the glory. If you really want to impress, print on pink construction paper and encircle your name in hearts.

5. Food to be avoided. Except for dry and canned, non-perishable gourmet items. Do it with class. Don’t insult us by including Ramen noodles with your submission. That stuff is loaded with Sodium, and it’s cheap. Nor would you be wise to go with candy bars or M&Ms. There is only one kind of chocolate. Godiva. The rest is imitation.

6. Pet food. Obviously, unless your stalking the contest judges and readers, you can’t know what kind of pets they might own. Chewable dog bones, on the other hand, can be digested by humans and taste quite good, um, I’ve heard.

7. A cover letter. Absolutely. First sentence should say something like, “You’re looking mighty fine today” or “You are so smart!” Most people enjoy compliments, and it puts your novel on a solid footing. To be honest, you might even want to make a compliment the first sentence of your novel. Consider the difference between a novel that opens, “It was a dark and stormy night” and one that opens “Have you lost weight? It was a dark and stormy night…” No contest, my friends.

*Take this with a grain of salt. I’m not actually serving as a judge or reader in any way. Just speaking as a former editor, judge, of a humble literary journal.*