brianrayfiction.com Blog

One more review of my novel up on the web, for any curious folks out there. In other news, Gov Blago has just published a memoir, which some say reads like a frolic in the land of denial and myth-making. Most politicians don’t plan to spend much time on this act of literature. But prosecutors seem to think it’ll be useful for building a case against him. I also heard that the thin pages make for good toilet paper and/or kindling.

Mark Sanford and Rod Blagojevich duel for title of world's dumbest governor

Here’s what the NY Times says about public response to the memoir:

Around this city last week, some Chicagoans, spotting the book cover, responded with weary eye rolls and complaints that Mr. Blagojevich, whose corruption scandal enveloped the state last winter, now seemed determined to gain wealth or more notoriety from his travails.

But we should be kind to Mr. B. He’s gone through some hard times, and his journey has approached true epic. Did you know that his story actually parallels that of many epic heroes, like Odysseus and Icarus – and also some tragic Shakespearean heroes like Hamlet, Lear, and Othello? Oh, and Macbeth? Neither did I, until I read a little about his book:

When Mr. Obama and Mr. Blagojevich first met, he wrote, they were seen as rising stars. “He’s now the president of the United States, like Zeus in Greek mythology, on top of Mount Olympus,” Mr. Blagojevich writes. “I’m Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. And I crashed to the ground.”

Obama as Zeus, I like that. So who would play Aries in this dramatization of American politics? I nominate Dick Cheney. No, wait. Too easy. How about General Petraus? Closer. I’ll keep thinking about this. Now, on to Aphrodite. Hillary Clinton should play the goddess of love, obviously. Or, wait. Scratch that. She’d make a much better Hera. But then that role’s reserved for Michelle Obama – if we’re going to go the literal route. So perhaps Clinton should play Diana – goddess of the hunt.

This could get complicated. But at least we know who ought to fill the role of the Minotaur. Who better than Joe Biden? Can’t you just see him lurking through the Rose Garden, on the lookout for lost tour parties to gobble up?

I’d like to imagine some conversations between Blago and his editors on these concepts. Blago says, “So I’ve been thinking and, you know, I think my story has a lot in common with the Illiad? Right? Because, like, Agamemnon is a real sonuvabitch. And so am I?”

His editor responds, “But Blago, baby, Agamemnon is the bad guy.”

“Oh, well. Wait. Wasn’t he the one that caught the arrow in the ankle?”

“No, that was Achilles – the unstoppable killing machine.”

“Hmmm. I guess I’m an unstoppable machine in some ways.”

“Tell you what,” his editor says. “Why don’t you just compare yourself to Icarus?”

“Is he the guy who makes the first woman?”

“No, he’s the one who…oh, forget it. Look, just say you’re like Icarus. Okay? I’ll take care of the rest. Oh, and this chapter you sent me. It needs more references to Obama and other politicians with solid reputations. Okay?”

Click.

The End.